"And all the expectations I will never meet, Take you to the point of never believing"
The 88 - No One Here
"Isabella."
I refuse to acknowledge that voice.
"Isabella."
Doesn't he realize how much pain I'm in right now?
"Love, you need to wake up."
No I don't. I have no need to do anything but lie here in absolute agony. I rolled over, burying my head beneath the blankets. I could vaguely hear a little chuckle before the bed dipped beside me. Groaning I gripped the sheets tighter and pulled them above my head.
"Isabella, you're only delaying the inevitable. My mother is expecting us for brunch in exactly an hour. It's my only day off this week and I'd hoped for us to spend some time together."
Oh, my god is he whining? Is he serious about going to that ice box of a family home to see the Wicked Witch of North Bend?
I tried to speak, but found my throat still as parched as ever. Drinking with Ang - well me drinking and her watching – ended in somewhat of a blur after my seventh shot of Patron. I had no idea on how I actually got home.
"Don't want to go," I mumbled, holding the white, one thousand thread count Egyptian cotton sheet down hard as I felt Edward tugging it in the opposite direction.
He sighed, long and low. "Sweetheart, she's an old woman and she doesn't ask for much. She get's lonely in that house on her own."
That just pissed me off more. "Edward, she's not alone. She has how many servants over there and are we forgetting your Father?"
"Isabella, you know Father's barely able to talk these days. She's virtually on her own. If you'd just--"
"If I just what, Edward? Spent more time listening to her go on and on about how it's my fault you look so thin because I can't cook? Or maybe she'd like to discuss how I'm the cause of the dark circles under your eyes and not the job that you seem to hide at whenever anything comes between us?" I threw the blankets off my head, sitting up quickly and regretting the move even more.
The whole room spun as I cupped my hand over my eyes, squinting at Edward in the mid morning light. "Or maybe it's the fact that every single time she sees me she sniffs and touches her nose. Do you know how that makes me feel, Edward? Do you even notice anymore that she's done that from the moment you introduced me? For fucks sake, Edward! She's always hated me, why on earth would I want to spend an extra second in that woman's presence unless I had to?" I finished my rant, half aware that his eyes had dropped to the bedspread.
My head pounded harder as my stomach churned, whatever I had for dinner last night was fast making its way up my throat. I threw the covers off, pushing Edward out of the road with one hand and covering my mouth with the other as I ran to the bathroom. Angry tears filled my eyes as I leaned over the white porcelain bowl, heaving. My hair fell around my face, getting caught in the back spray, but my hands were too busy gripping the toilet to care.
Edward was right there behind me, one hand twisting my hair behind my head, the other stroking my back tenderly in comfort. As I finished, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand his fingers slipped down my shoulder to my elbow, guiding me back up onto my feet. I tried to catch my breath, but I felt weak, like my whole body had just turned to jelly. My knees wobbled, and Edward steadied me again, his hands moving to grip my waist as I fell backwards into his arms.
"Take it slowly, Isabella." I let him move us over to the vanity, picking me up and placing me on the bench. The stone top was cold on my naked ass and sent a shiver up my spine.
"Sit here for a moment."
I wasn't able to move even if I wanted to. I sat sniffling and trying to swallow down the foul taste in my mouth as I heard him opening and closing the mirrored cabinet above our double vanity. My hands were shaking between my legs, so I clasped them together tightly, trying to maintain some type of control over my body.
Tears continued streaming down my face as the shakes of too much tequila mainlining its way through my veins had my body trembling. Fuck. This wasn't how I wanted to spend my morning. This wasn't how I wanted to spend my weekend at all. I listened with closed eyes to the sounds of a tap being turned on & off. I could feel him back in front of me again. A cool wet cloth touched over my face, gently wiping the tears from my eyes and cheeks before moving over my chapped lips.
"Here, rinse your mouth, baby." I cracked open my eyes a little so I could see the small glass of bright blue mouthwash he held to my lips.
I cupped my hand around his and took a sip, swishing the stinging liquid around my mouth before spitting it back into the cup. Edward moved back over to the sink, getting rid of the used mouthwash. I turned my head, noticing the way the muscles in his back stretched and contorted as he reached up to put the bottle back in the medicine cabinet. His gray plaid boxers sat low on his hips, slipping even lower as he reached up to clip the door back in place.
I could see, even through my blurry eyes, his reflection in the mirror. The dark scruff along his jaw, the purple circles around his eyes that screamed he hadn't had a lot of sleep recently. I knew that he had worked hard this week, extra shifts, and getting called in when he was supposed to have time off. He deserved a sleep in and yet that bitch had us up early. Edward was constantly giving in to her; whatever she demanded he gave without question.
She'd found ways to push into our lives since the beginning. If I really thought about it, she'd been pushing and prodding from the moment Edward walked us into his childhood home to introduce me the woman he loved most in the world, to the woman who'd brought him into the world. I'd been so head over heels, completely consumed by Edward, that I hadn't noticed the inflections she'd place on words. The silent moments filled with looks that made up for her lack of verbiage. She planned our wedding, our house, our everything down to the last detail and I never complained once, all because I had Edward and his love and I was happy.
Around the same time Edward's and my sex life dissipated, and consequently my rose-colored view of our world faded, I began to see exactly how controlling she was of him, of us. Of everything we did. When I mentioned wanting to get a decorator in to look at changing the living room from white to something warmer, she squeaked and gave Edward a look. Edward's eyes met mine over the gold-rimmed crystal stemware we were drinking the vintage Romanée Conti Merlot from, "Maybe it's something we can think about doing later, sweetheart. I don't think now is a good time."
I'd been annoyed that he'd just dismissed the idea when she said no, especially since we'd talked about it earlier in the week and he'd been fine with it. What could have possibly changed within the fraction of time it took for me to voice the idea, her eyes to look from mine to his and then his complete change of opinion? When we got home later and I brought it up, he simply stated that it was once his mother's home too, and it would be a little hard for her to see me changing something that his grandmother, her mother had personally decorated herself.
I kind of understood that. Edward's grandmother had only passed a few months before we'd met and Elizabeth was still mourning her loss. Losing a parent was something I could relate to, yet she never wanted to talk to me about it. If I brought it up, she quickly changed the subject stating it wasn't polite conversation for whatever meal we were eating. It was after that, I saw every decision that we made, changed the instant his mother had a problem with it.
Our house, the home in which we had lived in since returning from our month long honeymoon in Hawaii, looked exactly the same as it had back then, now. Her influence was overwhelming. It had caused the beginnings of arguments between Edward and I far too often. Never fights, only me getting worked up and Edward finding something to do instead of talk with me. She was his mother, and he loved her and I had nothing to compare their relationship to. Renee had left when we were so young and Dad had never had a chance to remarry.
She ruled his life, far more than I felt was appropriate, and I was unable to do anything about it. Not even talking about it in our couples sessions with Carlisle had fixed anything. Edward still maintained that she didn't do any of the things I mentioned, not the sniffing, not the snide comments not the signing me up for things I never wanted to do. Charity morning teas, legacy lunches, cocktails for her social club... I avoided them all once I figured out I just didn't care anymore. Edward, who never ever raised his voice, would just sigh when I said no, sigh when I shot his mother down. Yet, as always with Edward, there was no confrontation, he would express his disappointment and then we'd move on.
Meals with her, however-- meals he made me attend. He would insist, he'd hide my car keys, do whatever it took so I'd give in. I'd always thought that if I did at least that, he'd give up with the guilt treatment for not spending any extra time than I had to near the ice queen. I'd put on my Perfect Wife persona for him when we went there, the appropriate knee covering dresses, the demure hair and makeup and shoes that were far closer to the ground than Sexy B would ever be caught dead in. I smiled and made polite conversation and generally became a "yes man" to everything she and Edward discussed.
Then by the time we came back from the evil bitches lair, my whole body would be wound tight, like an elastic band ready to snap at the lightest touch. The only release that made it all disappear would usually be found in a quick phone call to any of the Sin phone's contacts. However, since Jasper's little embargo on using sex instead of "discussing my needs" I'd been avoiding that woman's house like the plague. I hated the fact that even with Edward, tried and true in between the sheets and my legs, I still wasn't getting off. I really, truly did not need to go to that evil woman's house and come home, needing something only to be unable to get it no matter how hard Edward would try.
There was something about the way he looked in the morning. My eyes lingered down his muscular frame as he walked back to where I was sitting. His strong chest, lightly dusted with dark curls that led down over his taught stomach muscles, ending in that perfect treasure trail under the waistband of his gray boxers. What the hell was it about those boxers on him? He looked like sex personified as he ran a hand through his shaggy bronze hair and for the first time in a long time...
Edward made me horny.
Really fucking horny.
Only I could go from angry, to aching in less than ten seconds, even with a slight pause in the programming for a light purging over a porcelain bowl.
I licked my chapped lips, swallowing hard to get rid of the overly minty taste left over inside my mouth. Edward moved back between my legs; his large hands stroked the tops of my thighs as his moss green eyes looked over my face. He sighed, apparently not satisfied with how I looked and shook his head slightly.
"You're shaking, baby. You feel any better now?"
"No and yes. My stomach feels yuck and my throat hurts, but I don't feel queasy anymore." I smiled, noticing the lines around his eyes lighten as his hands ran up and over my arms resting at the top of my shoulders.
"Well I kind of thought you might have this type of reaction this morning. You were pretty wasted last night. I don't think I've seen you like that since that Luau on our honeymoon." He chuckled as his thumbs swept back and forth across my bare collarbones. The shakes reverberating through my body were now for an entirely different reason.
"As I recall Mr. Masen, you were quite inebriated yourself that evening. The one and only time I've ever seen you drink anything that had a stick of fruit and an umbrella in it!" I smiled at the memory; we'd had a pretty wild time.
We'd drunk our weight combined in free cocktails then fell into the private Jacuzzi overlooking the ocean at our suite. The fun we'd had in that tub was the reason why we'd put one in our bathroom the moment we arrived back. He'd been so carefree back then, we'd had sex on every surface and had only come up for air that one night. What had happened to us? How did everything change so dramatically?
"That we did. I can't even remember the last time we shared a bath together." That crooked smile I loved was on his face as his fingertips drifted from the side of my neck to the round of my shoulders. Back and forth, forth and back setting bloom to a flower of want in the pit of my stomach.
"Or the last time I've seen so much of your skin," Edward's heated breath played over my cheek as he leaned in. His lips brushed softly across the sensitive skin of my neck, moving lazily up towards my ear. Suddenly wondering how I got to bed, and completely undressed didn't seem like a bad thing, being completely naked right now appeared to be beneficial.
"Y-you need to get clean, I n-need to get clean. Maybe we could conserve water together?" I stuttered out the words, finally having found my voice as his mouth continued exploring my skin. My hands left my lap, moving to trace the wall of muscle in front of me. My fingers scratched over the ripples of his stomach, coming to rest at the band of elastic barely keeping his boxers up.
"You sure you're feeling up to that?"
I slipped one hand under his briefs, my fingers sliding down along his hardening length. He shuddered, groaning into my neck, laying the side of his head on my shoulder. Edward's hands dropped down along my arms, coming to rest on my hips as I circled my fingers around his cock.
"Jesus, Bella."
I chuckled as his hands tightened on my waist, pulling our bodies closer together. Obviously, someone wanted to play just as much as I now did. I pressed my lips over his hair, his breath coming in gasps as I tugged on his briefs, wiggling them down a little to give my hand and his cock more room.
"That feels unbelievably good." his voice had deepened, taking on an almost husky tenor.
My hand continued to work a slow rhythm up and down his length, I could feel the heat from my own aching centre radiating between us. Fuck the shower; I wanted to go back to bed. If his demon of a mother had of not shot down my idea of a bench in our multi-head steam shower then yes, I probably would have wanted to head there, but for what I wanted, what I needed, a flat surface would allow for a lot more stability.
His lips began to move again, the tip of his tongue following each open mouthed kiss across my décolletage. He lingered exactly over the spot where my heart was now racing in time with the thumping that was previously prevalent in my head. I yearned to feel more, taste more, touch more. We hadn't done anything like this in longer than I could recall. I wanted to ask why now? Why this moment? What brought this on? The questions all disappeared the moment I felt his hands fall to the outside of my thighs, slipping under my knees then sliding down to my calves and wrapping my legs around his back.
I couldn't help the moan that fell from my lips, moving my body like this, had brought us even closer together. So close, that I could now feel is cock hard up against my belly. My hand dropped from its previous ministrations, lying useless between us as his teeth scraped over my already taut nipple. The sound of my head falling back against the mirror echoed with a thud as he shimmied out of his boxers, his hands leaving my skin momentarily to do so.
I could feel him between us. I could feel every hair on my body stand on edge, waiting for him to make the next move. I couldn't believe that this was the same Edward I must have passed out on last night. Maybe I'd drunk more than I thought and this was a dream, because nothing like this had happened in real life in such a long time.
Fuck it, dream or no dream, this was hot and happening right now, and I was more than ready to live out this fantasy.
His hands were on the move again, burning a path of desire over every inch of my skin they passed. Back up my legs, cupping over my hips, fingers splayed across my back as they wound further up, drifting over my ribcage like he was reacquainting himself with the flesh of my body that was supposed to belong to him and only him. My breath came in short irregular gasps, hisses and sighs as his hands wrapped around my back, hooking under my arms and gripping up over my shoulders.
I blinked, lifting my head back up, attempting to focus on my Edward's face. His eyes were literally burning with intent, with his desire for me. Maybe all this talk of the good times had brought out the Edward I used to know, the Edward I wanted and needed more than I had even realized. His chest rose and fell as irregularly as mine, both of us wanting, but for the first time in a long time, unsure of whether to take.
I wanted to say please, I wanted to beg. I wanted to lean forward myself, and take from him what I took from so many others. This now, though, felt different. I was honestly unsure of how to proceed. My hangover was a thing of the past, all I knew was that I wanted him. I wanted him between my legs, all over my skin and inside me. I needed him to consume me the way he used to. To make me forget the week that had passed, the anniversary of something I never wanted to think about, and yet without my permission would always be at the forefront of my mind.
I just wanted my Edward.
His eyes flickered for one moment between my lips and then back to my eyes. Seeking permission, asking without words if I really wanted this, if it was acceptable.
Was he insane?
I shut down any further thought, virtually launching myself upon him. My arms wrapped around his neck, hands fisting into his bronze locks as the force of my little jump propelled him backwards. Our lips crashed against one another, teeth nipping, tongues warring, our teeth knocking even as a passion that had been sorely missing from our relationship suddenly gushed forward like the flood gates that had kept it back had somehow burst.
His hands tightened on my shoulders, fingers pressing deeper into my skin as I ground my hips against him, trapping his cock against his stomach and mine. Edward continued stepping backwards only coming to a stop as our towel warmer pressed against his back. He grunted and I purred, nipping at his chin and giggling at the position we were in. I flicked my tongue over his Adams apple as my hips circled over his.
"Bella." My name fell from his lips, broken into two in an almost pained whisper.
I leaned back, scratching my fingernails lightly into his scalp and enjoying the way his eyelids fluttered. "Yes, Edward?" I breathed, stilling my movements for a moment, but not wanting to break whatever sexual spell we were both under.
"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt--" I let go of his hair; placing my fingertips over his lips to silence the worry I could see forming between his brows.
"This," I nodded between us, "This is good, Edward. We," I couldn't finish my sentence with words, I leaned back in, pulling his pouty bottom lip between mine before letting it go with a pop.
When I looked back at him, the crooked smile was there; his eyes were dark with lust. I said nothing, he said nothing. We breathed in and out, just staring at each other as his hands drifted down along my spine, coming to rest on either side of my ass cheeks. I giggled as his light touch changed, his fingers digging into the ample flesh at the same as he stepped forward with a glint in his eye.
My chuckles slowed as he walked us purposefully back into the bedroom, finally stopping to bend forward slowly laying me atop our unmade bed. His quiet was unnerving. I scooted back along the bedspread, my eyes locked upon his as his tongue darted out between his lips. Dark green eyes drank in my very form; I could feel their movement like his fingers that had just been on my body. From the tips of my toes to the very ends of my hair, I felt his gaze upon me. My teeth found purchase in my bottom lip, tearing at the bruised flesh as I watched his chest rise and fall in an almost hypnotic rhythm.
I wanted him; I wanted him more than I had for a long time. I loved that for whatever reason, today he was letting go of all that was the norm for us. As his eyes continued boring into mine, he knelt on the edge of the bed reaching out to cup my left ankle between his warm hands. I stifled a moan as with the lightest of touches, the tip of his tongue traced around my ankle bone. Butterfly kisses trailed up my calf, behind my knee, and paused only to nibble the crease at the top of my thigh.
I couldn't keep my hands still, grasping, clutching at the sheet beneath me, sliding over my heated skin and down into the shaggy mess that was Edward's bed hair. His breath felt cool on my bare skin as he paused between my legs. I didn't want him to pause, I liked this in control Edward. This man who somehow was giving me just what I wanted, what I'd begged for earlier in the week.
Edward was about to give me head.
Angels were weeping with joy, I swear.
There would be no worrying about the Big O being missing anymore. If there was one thing Edward knew how to do, it was his tongue going to town on my lady bits. He just didn't do it often enough, he was either too tired or I was too pissed off. I gasped as I felt the tip of his tongue slide between my slick folds. My legs fell open further, wanting to give him as much space to work with as possible. I felt his hands on either side of my thighs, holding my legs apart as his tongue made the return journey, only this time flicking over my clit with increased pressure. I gasped, biting down on my lip as my eyes rolled into the back of my head.
Back and forth, forth and back, the flat of his tongue, the tip, circle, flick, trace, hard, soft, fuck! I was lost in a sea of sensation, every breath I took left my body in a whimper, a moan, a sigh. Fast and slow and then one hand left my leg, fingertips teasing my entrance, neither probing nor disappearing just gently pressing the soft slick skin surrounding where I craved his touch.
"Edward," I moaned, attempting to raise my hips and guide his hand to where I needed it, but with one arm still firmly pressed over my leg, it was no use. I pulled his wavy locks between my fingers, wanting him to realize this pleasurable pain bubble he'd put me in was driving me to the brink. I could feel my body tensing, that familiar pressure of blood rushing around my body, excited molecules reacting to what his touch was creating inside me.
I needed more, I let go of where I'd been about to shred the cotton sheet in my hand and palmed the painfully erect nipple of my right breast. I teased and plucked the little nub, moaning at the sensation of what both mine and Edward's torment on my body was causing. As he slipped one, then two fingers slowly in and out of my entrance his name broke from my chest low and long. His tongue sped up its attention on my clit, writing words of lust like a whirling dervish over the engorged skin.
I could barely breathe, my heels dug into the mattress, my toes curled as he twisted his fingers in a scissoring motion inside me, causing my inner walls to flutter. My back arched, I was so close, so very close and yet still not quite there yet. I tugged at his hair, torn between pulling him away and wanting to push him closer. My body was covered in a light sheen of sweat, I felt clammy under my own touch and the bubble of pleasurable pressure was threatening to disintegrate and inundate my body with bliss.
"Please baby, please. I-I-I'm so close, Edward. Fuck just… please baby!" Every word was a sigh from my chapped lips. Every breath of oxygen I breathed only served to form a sound of encouragement for his ears. Another finger joined the two already working inside me, touching places that were driving me closer and closer to the ultimate goal I'd gone far too long without achieving. Edward could do this for me; he was what I needed, what I was missing.
He hummed against me, answering my question with increased motions. His teeth nibbled, his tongue flicked as his fingers whirled in and out and around. This strange noise was like a hum in the back of my mind. It reverberated around me as my back arched off the bed, my fingers left my chest only to grasp at the bed linen again. The sound only became louder as Edward twisted his fingers one last time, turning them in such a way that they brushed pointedly over that spot. That one spot that without fail had always caused me to see stars, and this time was no different.
Fourth of July fireworks.
World Millennium celebrations.
Meteor showers.
Earthquakes, tsunami's, tornados and hurricanes.
None of those had anything on what Edward had just given me.
Welcome back Orgasm, how we have missed you!
I couldn't breathe, or I was breathing and I wasn't aware of it. I couldn't feel anything. It was like I was having an out of body experience. I waited for my sight to return from the blinding flash of white that had seemingly burned holes into my retinas. The loud keening noise that I'd heard before was lessened, but still prevalent as I struggled to hold onto some type of reality.
"Bella."
Edward. That was definitely his voice. Was he still here? How had he not burned up in all of that white hot heat? I couldn't feel my limbs. I wasn't even aware if I was breathing.
"Baby, open your eyes."
Were my eyes closed? I slowly cracked an eyelid, noticing only Edward's satisfied smirk and a lock of hair laying over one of his amused eyes. Somehow, my hand managed to regain it's strength, pushing that bronze curl out of his eyes and sliding down to cup his cheek. I ran my thumb across his plump bottom lip, spreading the gloss of what was surely me from one side to the other.
"Are you okay?" His voice was soft, as his words reverberated over my skin. My whole body was still tingling with the release I'd been lost from for over a week. The longest time I could ever recall having gone without coming in one form or another. The fact that Edward, my Edward had given me something I'd actually wanted, was not lost on me.
"More than okay. That was..." I sighed, watching his smile only widen.
"I'm glad I could be of service for a change," he chuckled, shifting his weight above me so that he was resting atop his forearms one either side of my head. I giggled, scraping my fingers back and forth through his messy hair, my other hand wrapped around his back, stroking up and down the curve of his spine.
Edward's face turned serious, pulling his face up from mine, "I know this week's been hard for you, and I know I should have been here more than I was."
I froze, swallowing back the swirl of emotions that bringing up what this week was, altered inside of me. I needed a change of subject fast. I wasn't prepared to discuss what yesterday was, not even with Edward. Not here and now and in this moment.
I slid my feet up the back of his thighs from where he lay between my legs. I drug my heels up over his toned backside and brought my hips up, rubbing my body against where his hard cock still lay throbbing between us.
"I think there's still something hard we need to take care of." I swiveled my hips up brushing the head of his cock against my slick pussy lips. Edward's eyelids flickered and my name escaped his lips in a long hiss. He shifted his weight, the tip flicking over my sensitive clit renewing the sparks of need within my body.
I chuckled against his lips as they swooped down upon mine, but the humor was short lived as he shifted, sliding his cock up and down my wet heat. I moaned, feeling the tip of his tongue trace back and forth over my lips. I opened my mouth to him, sucking his tongue into my mouth and massaging it against my own. He shifted his weight onto one arm, the other slipping between us, and then I could feel him right where I wanted him. I held my breath as I felt him press against my entrance.
"Look at me, Bella, I'm right here." My eyes snapped to his from watching the blood racing through his pulse point on his neck. Desire raged in golden streaks through the dark green. The words meant so much more than his physical presence and I felt a solitary tear slide down my cheek, coming to rest in the shell of my ear.
"I know," I whispered, pulling his face close, capturing his lips again in a light caress of skin on skin. He pressed forward, as he sunk inch by torturous inch into my velvety depths. His hard against my soft. His hand leaving the space between us, pulling mine from where I'd been caressing his back and twining our fingers together back on the mattress. Our bodies slowly joining, his eyes locked upon mine, our hands gripping each other as breathy moans mingled from where our lips vibrated against each other.
When he finally moved, I felt my world move with him. Every plunge was us reconnecting, every retreat was what I had been missing. His lips pressing lightly on my jaw, on my neck. His teeth grazing over my shoulder, my collarbone. His sighs and moans, whispered breaths tickling over my ear. My free hand retraced familiar ground over his heated skin. The muscles of his back as they contracted and stretched with his exertions. His soft hair that was becoming a tangled mess the more I entrenched my hands in and out of it. Our hips rose and fell, meeting each other in a rhythm that ebbed and flowed like the tide of the ocean.
I wanted everything he was offering. I needed him now more than I had thought possible. My back arched into his chest, my nipples grazing against his soft hair and skin, pressing hard into the wall of muscle underneath. Every push, every pull, every one of my senses were echoed in his. We moved together, every movement only serving to push us forward to our mutual release. The fire in the pit of my stomach that had returned to a dull glow was now flaring back into full flame. Searing pleasure emanated from wherever our bodies were in contact with each other. I was burning from the inside out and from the sounds leaving his mouth, I knew Edward was too.
I could feel him surging within me, my inner walls clenching with imminent release. Edward's hips rocked faster, his pubic bone rubbing against my clit, building the pressure between us both. Words of love, of reassurance, of encouragement left our lips, cool breaths on slick, heated skin. My fingers traced the beads of sweat as they traveled over the hard vertebrae of his spine as his body twisted above me.
Moans became grunts, sighs became high pitched keening noises as I came apart around him. My fingers pressed hard into his skin, fingernails leaving harsh imprints as I fought to hold on. I barely registered his own release, twitching and pulsing inside of me. His body slumped atop mine. Our breathing completely erratic, oxygen being sucked into overworked lungs in harsh grating pulls.
I looked over to wear his chin was resting on my shoulder, his eyes hidden by heavy lids. Edwards normally pale face flushed red, his hairline wet with sweat. He turned his head and I smiled as the green behind his full lashes came into view. His lips curving up in a happy grin that matched my own, he opened his mouth to speak, and then the phone rang. In the quiet of the house I could hear her nasally whine echo from the office.
"Edward? You're already running thirty minutes late. If you and your wife were going to be so tardy you should have called. I expect to see you within the hour."
His eyes widened as I felt my smile fade into a frown.
His fucking mother. I can't even have this moment with Edward without her interrupting it. He hadn't even pulled out of me yet and I could see in his eyes that he wanted to pull away. I kind of understood. Fucking bored old hag. I had two choices here, I could take the high road and give in, letting him answer the phone and forgoing the warmth of his body covering mine for the next few moments. Alternatively, I could take the low road, wrap my legs around him and refuse to let him up.
"As much as I want to stay here, you know she's just going to hit redial until we answer. How about, I tell her that we can't make it after all. I got called into work or something?"
Now it was my turn to look shocked. "You want to lie to your mother?" This was not the husband I knew. Maybe our unexpected orgasms had killed part of his mommy's boy brain cells.
He rolled his eyes, "Not lie as such Isabella, I told you I wanted to spend the day with you and yes, my plans had included visiting Mother for lunch but, plans change."
"It's okay, Edward. We can just eat quickly then come home," I said, blurting out the words before my brain had a chance to process what I was saying.
"Are you sure, Isabella?" His eyes scanned my face, trying to figure out whether I'd actually meant what I said.
"Yes," I answered nodding. "I don't want to spend all day with her like we usually do, but you're right. She misses you. I've had you this morning, and I'll have you tonight. I can share for a little while." I could, I could give the old bitch that, considering her son had given me back my big O not once, but twice this morning.
He paused for a moment, pushing his body up from mine using the flat of his hand against the bed. His eyes yet again searched mine; I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to his to seal my little deal.
"Okay, but only if you're sure."
"Yes, Edward. Now why don't you get up off me so we can get brunch out of the way and then get us back into bed," I purred, licking my swollen lips and finding the taste of copper from where either Edward or I had bitten through the skin enough to make it bleed.
"It's not brunch, Isabella. It's lunch, well afternoon tea really, by the time we get there. I meant what I said, I took today off to be with you but I don't expect it all to revolve around this bed." He sighed, rolling off me and sitting with his legs over the side of the bed. I turned on my side, feeling slightly empty now his heat wasn't surrounding me anymore.
"I didn't mean we had to stay here all day, Edward. It's just, this was nice, you know? I can't remember the last time you took me like this. I really needed it."
His head bowed a little, his hands moving to pull and tug at his hair before he got up and walked toward the bathroom, stopping only when he got to the door way, keeping his back towards me.
"Maybe I'm finally in a place where I feel like you want me to love you properly again, Isabella." He paused, one hand against the doorframe, leaning slightly on his left foot, "I think you forget sometimes that your indiscretions did more than just leave me hurting emotionally. It's been hard for me to put everything into perspective, to begin forgiving you for what went on. I haven't felt like you actually wanted me physically, needed me to love you in a long time." He walked into the bathroom then, shutting the door with a soft metallic click.
I rolled back onto my back, letting his words settle uneasily over my heart as I heard the water turn on and the muffled sounds of Edward in the shower start. I let out a long breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. He was right. I had never really thought about what I was doing in regard to how it affected him. He'd been so cold, so distant since he found out what I was doing behind his back, that I never really thought that he cared. Sure, I knew that it upset him, but I had equated it more to the social aspect. That people would talk about the premier plastic surgeon's wife and her sexcapades. I never really factored in that he would feel like he wasn't enough. That I didn't want him.
I'd never not wanted him. I just wanted excitement, to feel like more than just a vessel laying in bed and going through the motions. Had I been as blind to his needs as I thought he had been to mine?
I slipped out of bed, his words playing over in my mind as I followed his steps into the bathroom. Opening the shower door quietly behind him, I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around his chest and laying my head on his warm wet back.
"You called me baby," I said after a few moments had passed, the water from the second set of shower heads washing away the grime of last night and the sweat of this morning from my body. The hot steam was filling our enclosed space and just being close to Edward like this, had reminded me of something I'd dismissed earlier when all I was concerned about was touching Edward and being touched.
"I did?" I nodded as much as being this close to his body would allow. "You did. You haven't called me baby in a long time."
The sound of water rushing from the shower heads and hitting our bodies and the tiles were loud as my words were left hanging in the air.
"I haven't felt like you were that in a while, I guess. You really hurt me, Bella. I know it's not all your fault, it's mine too. I realize that, but you haven't seemed to need me, and in truth, I was pretty angry at myself for not being enough for you, not being what you wanted." I could hear the emotion in his voice, hearing it here in full, compared to all the times he would only hint at it in our sessions with Carlisle, really hit home. I felt his honesty, and owed him only that in return. I took a deep steadying breath and then started.
"I'm sorry, Edward. I do want you. I'm sorry if you didn't think that I did. I just, I'm honestly not sure what I think about anything anymore. You've given me a lot to talk about with Jasper this week." I felt his body shift, almost tensing up for a moment, and then it was gone.
"I'm sure your Doctor has a lot he wants to talk about with you too, Isabella." He paused, clearing his throat, "He was very concerned about you last night. He even offered to drive you home if I couldn't get down to that bar and pick you up myself."
"Jasper called you?"
"Yes, I'd tried to ring him earlier in the day. I was worried about you," he turned in my arms, cupping my face in his large hands. "I know it hurts, Isabella, but it's obvious that Marcus has been on your mind this week. If you refuse to talk to me about it, then I really think you should consider talking to Doctor Cullen. He seems to be doing some good for you." His lips came down on my forehead in a light touch, a slight pressure behind it that almost felt like he was trying to leave a mark, a stamp of ownership unseen but felt by myself.
I pressed my head to his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as his arms tightened around me. He probably was right. I hadn't opened up about Marcus in such a long time, preferring to push it all down and out of mind as much as possible. Thinking about Marcus only lead to thinking about Dad and I couldn't have that. I'd done my share of mourning, well at least I thought I had. Perhaps with things returning to normal with Edward, there was time to explore this too. Maybe Jasper wasn't just a pretty face after all. Somehow, late lunch with Mother Masen was the least of my worries.
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